People who can hold a real life

Divorced two years ago. I have my son every other week — same rhythm as a lot of people on here, which is why I stayed. I work with families all day and still believe people can be decent. I want a partner, not a project, and not a secret.

I build kitchens and bookshelves and the occasional ridiculous birdhouse. I live two hours north and I will drive. I want something that lasts longer than a season. I like men who have already lived a little.

I design books for a living and keep too many houseplants alive out of stubbornness. I have never been married. I have wanted a life with a kid in it for a long time — not as a project, as a household. I like men who know who they are.

I work the reference desk at a branch that still has a hold shelf with my name on it. I like quiet men with opinions about novels and no interest in making me smaller. I want a life that includes a kid, eventually — yours, ours, or the neighborhood's.

I work nights at a hospital on the north side. I am used to people in hard seasons. I am not looking to be anyone's nurse at home. I want a man who can hold his own life and still make room for mine.

I teach eighth grade history, which means I have a high tolerance for chaos and a soft spot for people still figuring themselves out. I transitioned a decade ago. I am not new to myself. I want a partner who is not new to wanting something real.

I run a small kitchen that closes on Mondays. I am better at feeding people than talking about my feelings, but I am practicing. I want a home that is loud on purpose — music, friends, a kid if that is part of the deal.

I spend most days outside and most evenings trying to get the woodstove right. I am a single dad. I am not looking for someone to complete a picture. I am looking for a man who wants a real winter with me.